Conflicts and Effective Solutions
Date: Feb 14, 2015
Conflict and How to Resolve
I am currently traveling Utah and Arizona with my husband. Our journey started from Salt Lake City to see "Sleater-Kinney" reunion concert, which was awesome and then drove to the Canyonland National Park to the Grand Canyon and then Zion national park. It is total 10 days of trip starting from 9th and then we will return home on 19th. So far it has been great. Because we didn't plan throughly before trip, we've been constantly online and figure out what we like to do next. It has been blessed. The parks were beautiful and we are so impressed by national park system. If anyone has never visited the Grand Canyon, I highly recommend to visit Canyonland national park and Arches national park on the way.
That's right. CONFLICT!
When we arrived Salt Lake City at midnight, we realized that our reservation was actually starting from yesterday, not from today. Great! They said there are cars available but it will be additional charge of $200.
Although I made a reservation, I asked my husband to confirm the reservation yesterday, I instantly blame him for not checking the reservation throughly.
The conversation went little wild and instead of deciding what to do (either taking a car or getting a taxi to go to the hotel and then rent a car from the city), we were arguing who create this madness.
I felt that it was disrespect able that he didn't listen me and failed to confirm the reservation. As a matter of fact, this is not the first time. I felt frustrated and angry.
After several minutes of heated conversation, we decided to take a moment and think of what we need to next. Although my anger wasn't entirely gone I agreed to the suggestion. After checking a map, We decided to get a taxi and go back to the hotel and then hire a car next day.
During short 10 minutes of taxi ride, I had a chance to think of the situation much clear. Mistake can be made and no one is responsible for anything. We both react poorly because we were frustrated and tired.
I also realized that when I am angry, I exaggerate the situation or bring other instances that make me more angry. I think I try to justify my anger and that makes me more angry.
Most of time, I found that having little bit of break will give me an opportunity to think and see the situation better without emotions.
In professional circumstances, sometimes I got an email that makes me frustrated or angry. When I receive these e-mails, I found that taking a few minutes to read email again or taking break before sending response better than react right away. Try to understand where this comes from, what causes the conflict and why, helps me to understand the situation better and NOT taking personally.
There is no sliver bullet. No one method will make you a conflict resolution expert. I found that many people with great at resolving conflict are confident. Confident people do not take a situation personally thus they do not response emotionally. To be confident, of course I need to be competent. So do more practice??
Conflict and How to Resolve
I am currently traveling Utah and Arizona with my husband. Our journey started from Salt Lake City to see "Sleater-Kinney" reunion concert, which was awesome and then drove to the Canyonland National Park to the Grand Canyon and then Zion national park. It is total 10 days of trip starting from 9th and then we will return home on 19th. So far it has been great. Because we didn't plan throughly before trip, we've been constantly online and figure out what we like to do next. It has been blessed. The parks were beautiful and we are so impressed by national park system. If anyone has never visited the Grand Canyon, I highly recommend to visit Canyonland national park and Arches national park on the way.
That's right. CONFLICT!
When we arrived Salt Lake City at midnight, we realized that our reservation was actually starting from yesterday, not from today. Great! They said there are cars available but it will be additional charge of $200.
Although I made a reservation, I asked my husband to confirm the reservation yesterday, I instantly blame him for not checking the reservation throughly.
The conversation went little wild and instead of deciding what to do (either taking a car or getting a taxi to go to the hotel and then rent a car from the city), we were arguing who create this madness.
I felt that it was disrespect able that he didn't listen me and failed to confirm the reservation. As a matter of fact, this is not the first time. I felt frustrated and angry.
After several minutes of heated conversation, we decided to take a moment and think of what we need to next. Although my anger wasn't entirely gone I agreed to the suggestion. After checking a map, We decided to get a taxi and go back to the hotel and then hire a car next day.
During short 10 minutes of taxi ride, I had a chance to think of the situation much clear. Mistake can be made and no one is responsible for anything. We both react poorly because we were frustrated and tired.
I also realized that when I am angry, I exaggerate the situation or bring other instances that make me more angry. I think I try to justify my anger and that makes me more angry.
Most of time, I found that having little bit of break will give me an opportunity to think and see the situation better without emotions.
In professional circumstances, sometimes I got an email that makes me frustrated or angry. When I receive these e-mails, I found that taking a few minutes to read email again or taking break before sending response better than react right away. Try to understand where this comes from, what causes the conflict and why, helps me to understand the situation better and NOT taking personally.
There is no sliver bullet. No one method will make you a conflict resolution expert. I found that many people with great at resolving conflict are confident. Confident people do not take a situation personally thus they do not response emotionally. To be confident, of course I need to be competent. So do more practice??