Almighty Enumerable
Date: Jan 17, 2015
Pair Programming and Fear Feedback
When I think of the term 'group work' or 'group challenge', the words I associate with are 'unsatisfying', 'inefficient' and 'avoid if you can'. Although I like to get help and advice from smarter people and learn from them, I like to do things on my own way. Why? Because I do not like to be vulunerable. I don't like people think that I am being slow. It's not that I have no ability to do it but I just do not like the feel that people watching me and see how fast I figure things out.
People says life is a journey of knowing oneself
It is fairly new discovery that I don't like to be vulunerable. I always thought that I am confident person and like to lead conversation. When I do pair programming, I always set the time and then if it goes to more than hour, I suggest to do 'own research' and come back together some other time instead of trying to figure things out together. In this way, I can do as much research I need to come up with an answer and being smart.
Although I am suck at paring and group work, I must admit that I am actually enjoying the paring programing so far. It has been wonderful opportunites to learn about different thinking and problem solving style. Observing others figure out how to solve problems are surely fun and rewarding experience.
What frustrates me about pair programing session is really my coding skill. I wish I can help others and lead the session. Yet, often I found myself become just a code typer than a pair partner.
What's wrong with Feedbacks?
As much as I am not a confident pair partner, I am not looking forward reading feedbacks. It's not that I am expecting bad feedbacks but getting feedback and learn from it isn't something that I am used to. I think it's also because of my incompetence in programming skill.
So far the feedbacks that I received are all positive. Feedbacks aren't very specific but in general they are encouraging and suppotive. Although I avoid as much as I can to read feedbacks, I am appreciating people done work with me and provided feedback. Digesting and improving myself after reading feedbacks are my tasks and I need to be used to. At leaset I know where I need to improve, I think I do have a hope.
Providing a feedback is as big challenge as much as digesting provided feedback. Professionally, I haven't had a chance to provide feedbacks to others so this is fairly new challenge for me. The hardest thing about providing feedbacks is being honest. Give negative feedback is still very challenging to me although I know that it is necessary. I also think that this is due to my confidence issue.
Because I do not like dealing with feedbacks, I don't see the usefulness of feedbacks. To make the best of the program, I should work on my fears and issues to accept others opinions and use as fuel for going forward. I also need to provide honest feedbacks to others because that's what I supposed to do and it will help them. Perhaps the all issue regarding feedback systems comes from my effort level and incompetency in general.
Pair Programming and Fear Feedback
When I think of the term 'group work' or 'group challenge', the words I associate with are 'unsatisfying', 'inefficient' and 'avoid if you can'. Although I like to get help and advice from smarter people and learn from them, I like to do things on my own way. Why? Because I do not like to be vulunerable. I don't like people think that I am being slow. It's not that I have no ability to do it but I just do not like the feel that people watching me and see how fast I figure things out.
People says life is a journey of knowing oneself
It is fairly new discovery that I don't like to be vulunerable. I always thought that I am confident person and like to lead conversation. When I do pair programming, I always set the time and then if it goes to more than hour, I suggest to do 'own research' and come back together some other time instead of trying to figure things out together. In this way, I can do as much research I need to come up with an answer and being smart.
Although I am suck at paring and group work, I must admit that I am actually enjoying the paring programing so far. It has been wonderful opportunites to learn about different thinking and problem solving style. Observing others figure out how to solve problems are surely fun and rewarding experience.
What frustrates me about pair programing session is really my coding skill. I wish I can help others and lead the session. Yet, often I found myself become just a code typer than a pair partner.
What's wrong with Feedbacks?
As much as I am not a confident pair partner, I am not looking forward reading feedbacks. It's not that I am expecting bad feedbacks but getting feedback and learn from it isn't something that I am used to. I think it's also because of my incompetence in programming skill.
So far the feedbacks that I received are all positive. Feedbacks aren't very specific but in general they are encouraging and suppotive. Although I avoid as much as I can to read feedbacks, I am appreciating people done work with me and provided feedback. Digesting and improving myself after reading feedbacks are my tasks and I need to be used to. At leaset I know where I need to improve, I think I do have a hope.
Providing a feedback is as big challenge as much as digesting provided feedback. Professionally, I haven't had a chance to provide feedbacks to others so this is fairly new challenge for me. The hardest thing about providing feedbacks is being honest. Give negative feedback is still very challenging to me although I know that it is necessary. I also think that this is due to my confidence issue.
Because I do not like dealing with feedbacks, I don't see the usefulness of feedbacks. To make the best of the program, I should work on my fears and issues to accept others opinions and use as fuel for going forward. I also need to provide honest feedbacks to others because that's what I supposed to do and it will help them. Perhaps the all issue regarding feedback systems comes from my effort level and incompetency in general.